Joseph Addai Isn’t Dead Yet

Yes, Addai burned many of us last season. A consensus top 10 pick he failed to live up to the lofty expectations of being a #1 running back who didn’t have to share carries for the first time in his career. But getting him in the fourth round or beyond as I have seen in numerous mock drafts has “steal” written all over it.

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2009 NFL Draft Interview with Indianapolis Colts Running Back Donald Brown

Donald+Brown+Indianapolis+Colts+Interview

Pssst! Want to know a secret with less than 72 hours before the NFL Draft? Donald Brown is the best running back available.

Chris Wells and Knowshon Moreno, who have thus far been pegged as the two “can’t miss” RB’s in this draft and are considered by most to be #1 and #2 running backs available, benefit from coming out of two of the “power conferences”. But hasn’t history indicated time and time again that this is at the very least a false assumption?

The running back position, especially in terms of the NFL Draft is a fickle mistress. For every first rounder like Adrian Peterson, there are five Kijana Carters, Curtis Enis’, Rashaan Salaam’s, Lawrence Phillips’ or “insert your favorite teams notable draft bust RB here” who also came from “power conferences.”

But somewhere on the eastern seaboard, Donald Brown sits and doesn’t read too much into anything he hears.

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Kurt Warner: NFL Hall of Fame Inductee?

Kurt Warner waves to the 50,000 in attendance at the NFL Pro Bowl
Kurt Warner waves to the 50,000 in attendance at the NFL Pro Bowl.

“Make Love, Not Warner”

With the specter of the Cardinals making it to the Super Bowl looming as a real possibility, this question has begun to be asked in ever increasing frequency; Does Kurt Warner deserve to be in the NFL Hall of Fame if the Cardinals win the Super Bowl? If he wins, absolutely, hands down, no doubt about it.

But if he doesn’t? That’s where it gets really interesting.

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Most Versatile Defender in the NFL – An Interview with Terrell Suggs

Terrell Suggs and Paul Eide - Watch Out Ladies

Terrell Suggs is a freak. And not just because his 6-3, 270 lbs frame has played all 11 defensive positions in his career with the Baltimore Ravens, but also because he entered the NFL at the tender age of 20 years old. Think about that for a second; what were you doing when you were 20? I’ll tell you what I damn sure wasnt doing; taking on full grown men in hand to hand physical combat on a national stage every Sunday.

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Ty Pennington Eats Shit

(Note: I wrote this article in March of 2006. Amazingly, I met and hung out with Ty Pennington at a NASCAR hospitality tent during the …

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Livestrong Bracelets Destroy Families

Did you know that Livestrong bracelets are mass produced by parent-less, orphaned, child laborers who sleep in cages, deep within the seedy underbelly of downtown Tokyo?

You didn’t see Lance Armstrong thanking them after his 6th Tour de France victory, did you? No! But, I bet you saw him pimp these godless items in the name of cancer prevention and treatment, didn’t you?

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Goateed Woman

Woman-Goatee

One thing that I have learned about crazy old ladies is that typically, (and I would hate to make a sweeping generalization here) the longer their goatee, the more they are out of their mind. The stench of urine they emit also holds some type of bearing on mental stability, with the more pungent odor signifying less ability to function within the social constructs of civilization.

The building that I am currently living in is an exact replica of the hotel in the movie The Shining, starring Jack Nicholson. While that in and of itself doesn’t raise an inherent sense of fear, the thought of that combined with the thought of a 55 year old schizophrenic woman who drags around a laundry cart filled with heels of bread, walks with a limp and plays on the elevator until 3 in the morning, does.

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Seventh Grade Mixer + Down Syndrome = CHAOS

middle-school-mixer

The most questionable and single most objectionable event I ever witnessed was watching a kid with down syndrome win the air guitar contest at my 7th grade mixer.

Sure, it seems harmless enough, doesn’t it? Cram about 300 prepubescent 7th grade boys and girls in a small place and serve Coke, while a rented DJ played the top 40 hits of the day, such as Bon Jovi and the Spin Doctors. (I guess some of us were more like post-prepubescent because we had pubes and we could get a boner when exiting our desk if we weren’t careful.)

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Donald Rumsfeld Announces “War On Peace”

In a stunning turn of events revealed on Wednesday, United States Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld announced plans for the commencement of a “War on Peace”, slated to begin by sweeping American city streets as soon as next week.

“With the failure of the ‘War on Drugs’, the ‘War on Terrorism’ and the trifecta, the ‘War on Poverty’, your government has decided to pick a fight that it can’t possibly lose,” said Rumsfeld as he casually adjusted his nut sac with both hands. “By needlessly slaughtering thousands, well….actually, we’re hoping more like millions, of innocent people across the world, we can join together and eradicate a common enemy; Peace.”

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Houston Alexander Interview – “Rock The B-Boy Language”

Houston Alexander Omaha

In every form of artistic expression known to man, the artist has continually resided in the epicenter of the storm known as social acceptance, seeking to establish merit in his or her chosen art form.

Long before he was knocking people out in the UFC, Omaha-native Houston Alexander’s chosen form of expression was B-Boying and his canvass was his body.

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“RIP The Cut” – Interview With DJ RIP

As Omaha’s Hip-Hop culture continues to develop, few people can lay claim to the level of influence and experience that DJ RIP (aka Mike Dunham) has donated to the cause. Known as “The Old Skool Specialist”, the Omaha native has been perfecting his craft since the early 1980’s. As the first Hip-Hop artist from the state of Nebraska to ever have a vinyl record pressed and released, RIP is familiar with Omaha’s Hip-Hop history.

“In the early 1980’s, there were many Hip-Hop shows and functions with various artists like Mario Scratch, Brian B, DJ Suicide, Star Steppers, and Harland Gunn. These guys were MC’s, DJ’s, Beatboxers and B-Boys who kept Hip-Hop flourishing throughout the 1980’s.” said RIP. “1987, there was a huge emcee battle called “The Battle of The Bands” that took place at the Civic Auditorium. There were over thirty different Rap/Hip-Hop crews that competed in that show. The number of participants shows that the Hip-Hop community in Omaha was definitely thriving at the time, but in 1988 when NWA came out, Gangsta Rap exploded. The Hip-Hop scene in Omaha was lost in the transition to Gangsta Rap and as a result, the Hip-Hop culture began suffering.”

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Kid From Kid N Play Unleashes The Secrets Of His High Top Fade

“At its peak, the flattop was between 8 and 9 inches, but its ego was around 8 or 9 feet. When it got its own agent, I knew it was time for the flattop to meet its ever impending doom.”

While Kid may have been the owner of the worlds’ most renown flattop, his talent far exceeds the length of his hair follicles. Born and raised in NY, NY, Kid first tasted success as one half of the platinum record selling hip-hop duo, “Kid n Play”.

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Cypress Hill “Stoned Raiders” Album Review

Remember Suzie from your sixth grade class that “developed” a little bit earlier than all of the other chicks? She stimulated your thinking in a way you had previously never imagined and she inspired a part of you that you didn’t even know existed.

Now, remember how you felt when you found out that the only thing that Suzie had truly “developed” was a strong liking for two ply Charmin ultra roll toilet paper? Those same feelings of deep remorse and frustration will also be felt by any Cypress Hill fan who listens to the bands sixth studio album release, Stoned Raiders.

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The String Cheese Incident – Band Interview

On July 9th and 10th, nationally recognized jam band “The String Cheese Incident”, will be performing at Westfair Amphitheatre.  Also performing are special guests Femi Kuti, who will perform on the 9th, and Karl Denson who will perform on the 10th.  The two-day show is a concept that is unique in today’s musical landscape and seems to be favored mostly by bands labeled as “Jam Bands”.  I asked Billy Nershi, guitarist and vocalist for The String Cheese Incident, for his definition of a “Jam Band”

“I think that a jam band is a band that is into a different musical experience every time they step onto the stage.  The main thing is that the musicians, who are performing, are not trying to control the music and drive it in a certain direction.  fun and it’s a great experience, every time.”

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An Interview with Kevin Pollak

“In a lot of ways, Hollywood is just like high school with money,” said comedian/actor/producer Kevin Pollak.

“You’ve got all the clicks and peer groups and the pecking order just like you did in high school. The football players, the popular chicks, the nerds, and then you’ve got all the smokers huddled around a car outside. The money gives people a false sense of power but when you strip all of that away, they’re still the same idiots, only with money. The biggest misconception about this industry is that it’s so glamorous. It really isn’t.”

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Simon Says – Band Interview

Simon Says is a four-member band based in Sacramento, California.  The band has achieved national prominence thanks to touring with acts such as Limp Bizkit and Staind.  Zac Diebels, guitarist of Simon Says, claims the reason for their success is a heavy focus on the audience.

“When the kids come to our show, we don’t want them to think that since we are up on the stage that we are unapproachable.  Crowd interaction and just getting to know the fans is what we are all about.”  

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Meet me at FolkHouse – Music Review

When I think of folk music, I immediately imagine a room filled with a wide variety of people listening intently to a singer emptying a bucket filled with life experience upon the audience.  If this sounds like an enjoyable experience that can be hard to find in the Omaha Metro area, then the FolkHouse is the place for you.

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Heartbreakers – Movie Review


“Cute leads to screwing which leads to screwed.”  This is the philosophy that Max (Played by Sigourney Weaver) lives her life by.  This is also the premise behind much of the action in the movie Heartbreakers.  

After getting knocked up at a young age and being forced to raise the child on her own, man-hater Max’s mission in life is to keep her daughter Page (Played by Jennifer Love Hewitt) sheltered from the trauma of a relationship gone awry, and to screw over every “member” of society who happens to possess phallic shaped genitalia.  

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Former Husker Brion Carnes Signs With Omaha Beef

Former Husker Brion Carnes Signs With Omaha Beef
Brion Carnes inks his Beef deal under the ogling eyes of head coach Cory Ross.

The Omaha Beef will give former Husker quarterback Brion Carnes something Bo Pelini never did – the chance to be the starting quarterback.

Friday night at Ralston Arena, the former four-star recruit from the same Bradenton, FL high school (Manatee) that produced Husker legend Tommie Frazier, will get his first start in the CIF league at the helm of the Omaha Beef offense.

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Beef QB Chuck Wright Named Offensive Player Of The Week

A week after losing his starting job, Beef quarterback Chuck Wright has been named the Champion Indoor Football league’s Week 7 Offensive Player of the Week.

In a 43-41 victory over the Sioux City Bandits, Wright finished 17-of-27 for 169 yards, five touchdowns and one interception. His performance culminated with a four-yard touchdown pass to wide receiver Brandon Kinnie on the game’s final play to secure the Beef’s first victory of the season. 

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Beef Beat Bandits On Final Play Of Game

A week after quarterback Tyrell Houghton accounted for 5 touchdowns, Chuck Wright started versus the Bandits and threw for 5 touchdowns – along with 169 passing yards – and stepped up when the Beef needed him most. Wright found wide receiver Brandon Kinnie for a four-yard touchdown with no time remaining to give the Beef a 43-41 victory.

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Revamped Beef Play Tough In Loss To Force

Tyrell Houghton directed the Beef offense to its most productive game of the season, while the Beef defense played its most complete game to date.  But the Wichita Force offense scored when it had to, led by running back Tywon Hubbard, and pulled away in the fourth quarter to win, 59-42.

After a 49-7 pasting a week ago, Omaha turned in a resilient performance, fighting back from deficits of 7-0, 14-7, 21-14, 27-21, 34-28 and holding a lead late into the third quarter, before running out of gas in the fourth.

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Know Your Beef – Defensive Coordinator Demetrius Ross

Demetrius Ross is in his first season as defensive coordinator for the Omaha Beef, but his football background is extensive.

After a successful career at Boise State as an All-American defensive back, Ross played with the Cincinnati Bengals in the NFL and the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the CFL before making the transition to indoor football.

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Beef Struggle In Loss To Bombers

Bombers’ quarterback Chris Coffin started out hot and never cooled, leading his team to a 49-7 victory over the Beef at Bicentennial Arena in Salina, Kansas.

The early season MVP favorite and former Beef quarterback remained hot against Omaha, after garnering CIF Player of the Week honors for his performance at The Slaughterhouse two weeks ago.

What Coffin started, the Bombers defense finished. After giving up 33 points in their first meeting, the Bombers adjusted their defensive strategy. They shutdown the Beef running game early, forced the offensive into predicable passing situations, and blitzed unceasingly for the rest of the game.

Coffin completed 15 of 29 passes for 252 yards for five touchdowns and rushed for another as the Bombers took command of the game immediately.

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Beef Fall To Bombers In 47-33 Shootout

In an exciting back and forth shootout that featured four lead changes and three ties, the Salina Bombers used a late fourth quarter 48-yard interception return for a touchdown to seal a 47-33 victory.

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