NBA “Blah” Star Weekend – “Where’s The Tylenol?”

I can remember the EXACT moment I stopped caring about NBA All-Star Weekend. It was while watching a game of HORSE between Kevin Durant and Omri Casspi of the Kings in 2010. It was some of the worst TV I’ve ever watched. It made Jersey Shore look like Macbeth.

It was at that moment I realized the NBA didn’t care about me. But, like a spurned lover I gave it a second chance and forced myself to watch the slam dunk contest. And I got what I deserved. Nate Robinson winning easily the biggest POS dunk contest in history.

Can we have the original format back, please? Hasn’t it been proven time and time again, year after year how the current format is straight up BORING?? I mean, my god NBA, WTF? Even last year, though in hindsight it’s hyped as the greatest thing in history, while watching it, it was boring thanks to the format.

This year’s list of competitors is arguably the worst line-up ever assembled; Chase Budinger, Paul George, Jeremy Evans and Derrick Williams. This is the best you can do, NBA? They’re screwing with the format again this year where the contest is just a single round.

Since it’s obvious the dunk contest has hit dire straits and none of the players want to participate anymore, why not have some contest where fans send in videos and the contestants in the dunk contest are pooled from that?

How would that be worse?

Maybe there’s some 6-10, 30 year old dude out there doing a dunk no one has ever seen.

I’d rather watch Charles Barkley, MJ, Nique, and Karl Malone run a left hand lay-up drill. Hell, I’d rather watch any of those guys shave or brush their teeth or perform some other inane “life task” than watch the shlock that will be the 2012 dunk contest.

Skills Competition? Put a dart in my eye, please. Sounds like just another reason to give Tim Tebow some more air-time.

The Three Point Shootout may be the one saving grace in this entire deal. You know why? Because the NBA has never F’d with the format. This year the league has assembled a nice collection of gunners to go head to head; reigning champ James Jones , Joe Johnson, Kevin Love, Mario Chalmers, Anthony Morrow, and Ryan Anderson round out the field.

It wasn’t that long ago that NBA All Star Weekend ruled my heart. Back in the day, i.e. 1993-94, when Zima and silk boxers were king, I was sitting in front of my VCR, my finger primed and ready to hit the “record” button as soon as the commercials ended. It was akin to trying to “tape” your favorite song on the radio without the DJ cutting in prior to the end to say something snarky.

The other hurdle was having to hold down the “Tracking” button to get the screen cleared up properly. And though Tracking was a fickle mistress, I gladly endured her swift and irregular mood changes.

And why was I doing this? To “tape” NBA All-Star weekend.

But not this weekend. Or ever again.

I’ve been a freelance journalist since 2000 and have had my work published via AskMen, Sports Illustrated, Bleacher Report, Busted Coverage, and Autotrader. I’ve done stand-up comedy. I'm a dad, youth soccer club President, and former team statistician for the oldest indoor football team in the world, the Omaha Beef. I own a design agency in Omaha, NE called lgx branding. I’ve married six couples in 10 years and my Marriage to Still Married ratio is 6:6. I always say, it isn’t so much about the “love,” as it is the tasteless jokes that became vows. I started the I-80 Sports Blog to have all the work I've published located in one place and to write about things I want to write about. I don't take anything too seriously and it is a real time saver.