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Houston Texans

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The Houston Texans are not even a real NFL franchise IMO. Terrible uniforms, forgettable players – other than All-Pro kicker Kris Brown – the entire AFC South could fall into the ocean and no one would notice.

They will never be as cool as the Houston Oilers. They will never be as successful. The dumbest thing in sports is how they built Reliant Stadium DIRECTLY next to the Astrodome – while it sits there vacant, crumbling.

Perhaps that is the best visualization of this franchise – shiny, new, wasteful spending, nothing of any substance. Who TF is actually a Houston Texans fan and WHY would they be? Your owner forced the Oilers out of town and turned them into the Tennessee Titans. The NFL felt sorry for you (but more likely knew they had to actualize the 4th largest media market in the US) and gave you the stupid Texans.

You beat the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday Night Football on your first game ever and THAT is your franchise highlight. You suck.

If you like the Texans, please tell me why? They are the youngest franchise in the NFL. Like an annoying little brother who wants to be “down” but has no guts so you don’t listen to anything he says.

Houston Texans Stadium: NRG Stadium
Houston Texans Logo: Some weird cow head with the Texas flag over it
Houston Texans Colors: Deep steel blue, battle red, liberty white
Houston Texans Mascot: Toro

How Many Super Bowls Have the Houston Texans Won?

HA – ZERO you idiot!