Before I received the The Drinking Jacket for review, I couldn’t even spell the word “neoprene.” But now, after imbibing in its sweet, sensual delights and the life-altering trajectory I’ve been on since we met, I can’t sleep in a bed if the sheets aren’t neoprene with a thread count of 1,000.
Having this jacket added so much fun to my tailgating experience, and made me much stealthier in my approach to entering sporting events with previously purchased libations.
But this isn’t just a jacket that will help you import your favorite export. It’s stylish, goes with anything and is extremely comfortable. Not only that, but it does an amazing job of keeping you warm and your beverages cold.
Let’s go over the highlights:
Bottle Opener Zipper: This was the feature that got the most compliments and the one I used the most. And it isn’t just another light, crappy zipper made by that YKK zipper magnate. This zipper actually has some weight to it for leverage purposes, is long enough to be useful and non-descript enough that no one will notice its true purpose.
Deep Inside Pockets: They are deeper, darker and bigger than you think. Think of them like your ex-girlfriend or ex-spouse – a bottomless pit that is vacant and empty, the depths of which no one can truly see from the outside.
Sunglasses Holder: You don’t realize how important something like this until you spend a cumulative total of over $500 on three separate pairs of shades that you lost at three separate Kansas City Chiefs’ games.
Foldable Drinking Mitts: The end of each sleeve has a hole for your thumb and is intentionally longer to cover your hand. Not only that, but they are lined with slip-resistant drink grips.
Neoprene Beer Koozie Pocket: Go ahead, stick a can or a bottle in there and watch your friends gawk when you whip it out at a choice moment. And, it’s still cold, gurrrl.
I.D. & Money Pocket: Located on the right sleeve just below the shoulder, this will help you “shoulder” the responsibilities of the day; namely, not losing your identification or your scrilla. It’s genius because it’s a pocket you won’t need for anything else (and that you can’t easily access once you enter “Full Retard” mode), and that you won’t mindlessly shove stuff into during your excursion.
In total, the Drinking Jacket has 12 features that you didn’t even know you needed, until now. You guys, you need this in your life.