Donahue, the official Schick Hydro barber, set up shop at The Carlton Hotel in New York City and gave us the full treatment via hot towel shaves at a showcase event for the new Hydro5 and Edge Shave Gel.
For its latest campaign, Schick has taken a direct position against hipster douchebags. And I say it’s high time.
In recent years, the hipster population has exploded in the same way Ted Nugent says the deer population has, because there are no natural predators.
The Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive Collection had all the sensitivity of a toddler petting a kitten on a pillow with a rainbow in the background, while listening to Richard Marx’s hit power ballad, “Hold Onto the Nights.”
As a dude, shaving your chin is a delicate, sensitive process. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve nicked myself in that particular area based solely on excessive speed and a lack of tenderness.
Luckily, the Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive is here to save us from ourselves. The Ultra Glide Blades are equipped with Skin Guards (that would be a sweet band name) that smooth the surface of the skin while you shave. In the 20-plus shaves I used the product, it didn’t happen once. And I sped through my shaves like a young Apollo Ohno.
Since we’re being sensitive, I have a confession to make. Thanks to investing in high priced, high-end shaving creams (not to be confused with the Tribe Called Quest classic, “The Low End Theory”) over the years, I’ve tended to look upon Edge products with a jaundiced eye.
For its latest product offering, Schick has teamed up with “Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag” to produce the stealthiest men’s shaving gift pack ever created. It’s so stealthy that if you acquire it while playing Secret Santa, you will have no idea who gave it to you.
Even if they don’t want us to believe it, women need to shave too. We already know that they never sweat, but rather “glow,” and they never fart or have to use the bathroom.