Home Football STINK Schlereth On NFL Week 1, POUNDING Vodka, Rodgers Man-Bun

STINK Schlereth On NFL Week 1, POUNDING Vodka, Rodgers Man-Bun

Mark Schlereth and I talked about how much vodka the Packers need to get back on track.

The biggest surprise of 2021 NFL Week 1, how Chandler Jones is on pace for 80+ sacks, the best offensive line unit he saw week 1, the best/worst divisions in football, and his WAY too early Super Bowl prediction (HINT: Chiefs v Bucs).

3x Super Bowl champ and FOX NFL analyst Mark and I discuss why the Saints look so good. Then we went in on Aaron Rodgers’ man-bun.

Then went in on Homegating and how to do it responsibly, “licking wounds” and how I prefer mine to be covered in Smirnoff Seltzer.

He also gave us a Bench Press Update as he does every year and told us how his 5-3 wife told him he looked fat. And told us how much he loves Matthew Stafford, which we do too.

Paul Eide: that’s a lot of Smirnoff what are you gonna do with all that Smirnoff mark?

Mark Schlereth: we’re gonna get hammered right after this.

Paul Eide: i like it let’s do it. week one is in the books who needs a gallon of Smirnoff more than the green bay packers?

Mark Schlereth: nobody

Paul Eide: for crying out loud can we talk about that to me that’s the biggest surprise.

Mark Schlereth: yeah oh there’s no question it’s a huge surprise and you know i think it it goes back to me a couple years ago when it when well several years ago when peyton manning missed the preseason or had some injuries in the offseason the preseason playing for the indianapolis colts and didn’t play well right out of the gate. and he said it would be disrespectful of the game to think i could take up an off season off from all the things that i do football wise and come out here and play great these are the greatest players in the world. and you know aaron rodgers with all the issues he had with the green bay packers of the course of the off-season you know growing the man bun being out hiking in hawaii whatever the case may be um it’s going to take some time to get your footing. and so yeah they were awful. i think that what goes on said you know people talked about jameis winston how well he played the new orleans saints roster is as good as it gets in the nfl. they’ve got pro bowl all pro players littered defensively and offensively and i think we tend to forget that because we spend so much time focusing on the quarterback position.

Paul Eide: love the man bun comment it doesn’t always work for everybody as did not work for Mr. rogers on Sunday.

Mark Schlereth: but i guarantee you aaron is a prideful guy aaron is one of the smartest guys you’ll ever talk to. that’s one where you go back and lick your wounds and it becomes a rallying cry for you as a player. and listen every one of us whoever played this game has had our ass whipped a time or two and um and it’s how do you respond to that and i fully expect him to respond well.

Paul Eide: speaking of licking wounds let’s talk about all these fabulous food items that are in front of you um i like my wounds covered in smirnoff seltzer how about you.

Mark Schlereth: yeah there’s no question well it starts you know what it starts you want to get a good look at the wound you got to have a great tv the lg oled series the c series the best-selling premium television series in the united states. 8 million individually controlled pixels for the blackest blacks and the best color contrasts for watching the game there’s nothing better or gaming there’s nothing better a picture so stunning uh it feels like you’re at the game. it starts 48 inches goes all the way what i have behind me the 83 inch screen. and then eco flows delta portable power station you can power anywhere you need it inside and out quiet as a church mouse uh solar powered battery 13 devices at once you can charge big screens to mini fridges you name it they’ve got it and then hey listen i’m a spam guy i don’t know about you but the new lineup of tailgating treats thanks to my friends at spam brand spam classic.  you’ve got the meatball sliders you got the spam fries if you’re trying to get away from the carbs like me to keep my uh my svelte figure mostly just to get into my suits on sunday when i’m calling a game i’m going no cars the spam fries are incredible and then you mentioned the smirnoff right and uh if you if you’re a green bay fan this is very important for you after week one because you want to drown your sorrows. uh nothing says homegate like smirnoff from vodka sodas to the moscow mules how about their seltzers the red white and berry the can turns blue when it’s cold and ready to drink something for everybody. make sure you please drink responsible especially you packer fans.

Paul Eide: yes great pitch as always did you say 13 ports in that generator, mark?

Mark Schlereth: 13 ports and i’m telling you what it’ll charge from zero to 80 in about an hour and uh you can charge you know your like i said your skillet you can charge your crock pot your tv you can charge your mini fridge uh and have plenty of power to do it throughout your tailgate and then uh you know pack it all up and head on into the stadium to enjoy the game

Paul Eide: 13 ports might be enough for all the devices my 13 year old daughter uses on a minute-to-minute basis. uh you know i want to since we’re in week one the first thing i wanted to talk about aside from the packers was who is the best you’re an offensive lineman mark you love crushing guys what line of all the teams the nfl just absolutely crushed week one the hardest? who really took the defense’s face and made him eat it like a bad dog when he goes to the bathroom the house and you say no who did that what offensive line  unit impressed you the most

Mark Schlereth: well i tell you there’s there’s a couple of units that are really good i thought the broncos played really well for the most part…

oh you’re just saying that because you’re a broncos guy

Mark Schlereth: well no the giants i think the giants are one of the most exceptional defenses in football i thought they played really well for the most part san francisco does such an unbelievable job i think you know i talked to probably 12 15 teams this offseason about the run games and what they were studying and there’s not one team that didn’t say we’re trying to pilfer information off the san francisco 49ers tape so they are so good at what they do running the ball and setting up the explosives off their running game there’s nobody better in the business than them um so those were those were all good i thought.

gosh i just thought uh the new orleans saints controlled the line of scrimmage against the the packers i thought there were a lot of great performances and hey listen if the season were to end the day the mvps on both offense and defense would be in arizona right? i mean you’ve got kyler murray mighty mouse here i come to save the day he’s all over the place he’s the nfl mvp right now after week one. and then chandler jones five sacks in a game.  i mean just kick your feet up you’re already at the pro bowl for crying out loud after week one five sacks in one game it’s on it’s unreal.

Paul Eide: Chandler Jones is on pace for an 80 sack season i think you can do it.

Mark Schlereth: yeah i mean for crying out loud i mean you got to come up with a plan for that guy

Paul Eide: let’s just wreck the the the the record set by strahan on that real sketchy sac against brett favre and times it times four.

Need a bench press update mark where are you at these days what’s your bench routine like?

Mark Schlereth: um i only i lift a couple days a week um i am still incredibly freaking yoked as you can tellright and and like i’ve dropped 25 pounds in the last about six weeks because my wife said um you’re fat and i ordered you new suits and you better lose weight and she’s only five foot three and a hundred pounds and i’m scared to death of her uh so i did exactly what she said. um but i can pretty much still bench a house.

Paul Eide: i believe it last question again week ones in the books real super early overreaction who’s in the super bowl mark and who’s gonna win it?

Mark Schlereth: well you know i mean i i hate the kansas city chiefs with the white hot intensity of a  thousand suns um being a former bronco but they are still so freaking good. cleveland did everything to win a game and they still end up losing that game because that offense is so dynamic. um you know it’s the usual suspect tampa. tampa was great don’t you can’t give tom brady 30 40 seconds on a clock uh with a chance to win a game because he’s gonna win it um they are they’re great. the new orleans looked phenomenal um under you know a great roster under jameis winston uh you know i mean how about 14 completions and five of them for touchdowns um that’s insanity so it’s it’s kind of the usual suspects. buffalo lost the game but i still think they’re a good football team um it’s fun it’s early and guess what we get one more game this year right 17 of them so it just is it it’s football man it just doesn’t get any better.

Paul Eide: it sounds like you said chiefs v bucs Super Bowl rematch.

Mark Schlereth: yeah you know could be i love what the rams did you know i’ve been i’ve been a rant i’ve been a matthew stafford guy yeah matthew stafford to me is an elite level quarterback who played in an organization that didn’t understand what it was to be a winner and um and he got out of that and i’m telling you bruce arians told me last year he said there’s only one guy i dragged my fat butt out of locker room to watch warm up and that’s matthew stafford the way he throws the ball is i mean it’s elite it’s incredible and oh by the way he may be the toughest guy i’ve ever watched play and i like to watch him just throw and warm up matthew stafford. with sean mcvay that is going to be an interesting how about the nfc west for crying out loud seattle gets a big win in indianapolis uh the rams beat up on chicago san francisco beats up even though the score was closer than the than uh this in the actual game. and then uh arizona goes in and opens a can on tennessee i mean that division is  as good as it gets.

Paul Eide: NFC West is best division in football?

Mark Schlereth: oh well i don’t think without i think without a question it’s the best division of football

Paul Eide: nfc north worst division in football?

Mark Schlereth: nfc north uh it doesn’t look good right now but i do think at the end of the day i think i think green bay i think aaron rodgers gets a haircut and uh you know somebody slaps some sense into him he starts playing well again

Paul Eide: he he took a haircut on sunday, needs a real one mark. ladies and germs on the way out have a sip of vodka you’re gonna need it after all these interviews today my friend.

Mark Schlereth: all the best man take care of yourself

Paul Eide: good to see ya

I’ve been a freelance journalist since 2000 and have had my work published via AskMen, Sports Illustrated, Bleacher Report, Busted Coverage, and Autotrader. I’ve done stand-up comedy. I'm a dad, youth soccer club President, and former team statistician for the oldest indoor football team in the world, the Omaha Beef. I own a design agency in Omaha, NE called lgx branding. I’ve married six couples in 10 years and my Marriage to Still Married ratio is 6:6. I always say, it isn’t so much about the “love,” as it is the tasteless jokes that became vows. I started the I-80 Sports Blog to have all the work I've published located in one place and to write about things I want to write about. I don't take anything too seriously and it is a real time saver.