Product Review: D&Y Spring/Summer Hats for Men

There is nothing more polarizing on earth than a Fedora hat. You could wear a sign that proclaimed your stance on the death penalty, abortion and the afterlife all at once and you still wouldn’t be judged as harshly.

For every piece of positive feedback I received, I garnered five negative comments. It reminded me of the usual treatment I receive at the hands of my fully developed, blonde soul patch that I rock unabashedly in general, but in this particular instance, concurrently with the Fedora hat — double trouble, baby.

Why does the Fedora generate such angst? Because it’s an affront to weak dudes. And weak dudes are currently perpetuating their gutless shtick at record levels, passing themselves off as “real dudes” to chicks who are desperate for the genuine article but are forced to settle for a POS facsimile; like buying movies from the bootleg DVD guy in your neighborhood rather than spending a little more time and money to purchase the real deal. Do perceived needs motivate your actions? You’re already missing the point.

But what’s cool about the Fedora from D&Y is how it makes you feel. And how you feel on the inside has a large hand in generating the situations you attract on the outside.

To game test my Fedora, I took it with me while I covered this BMX session in Orlando, Florida. If any place on earth was going to be appreciative of the Fedora, the last bastion had to be by the pool at the Universal Studios hotel in Orlando. And it was, by two smoking hot babes who happened to be lounging nearby.

Both ladies were quick to complement not only the hat, but the man wearing it. They said the hat “spoke to them,” and that any guy who had the balls to wear it, and effectively pull it off, was a guy they wanted to be around. A guy they wouldn’t regret sleeping with. In short, a fucking man.

So what if a couple farmers from Dubuque, IA didn’t think much of my Fedora; I thought their Dekalb logo-emblazoned t-shirts were as preposterous as the way they interspersed the word “ain’t” throughout their cheap, low-level casual conversation.

If you want to look like a garden variety dumbass with nothing to offer the world, particularly the fairer sex, the new line of hats from D&Y isn’t for you. But if you’re a man who looks good, because he takes the time to look good, cares about his appearance, and has the intellectual wit to match the exterior, a hat from D&Y is the perfect accessory for a well-maintained, coordinated wardrobe.

You may have to wade through some negativity, but it’s only because you look good and that makes weak dudes nervous. And they should be.