Drew Brees Describes What It Felt Like To Kill A Crocodile With A Knife

The absolute last thing on earth Drew Brees wanted to do was talk to me.

But even through the phone, the greatest quarterback in the history of the NFL (at least statistically) could not resist my charm and stupid jokes. As evidenced by his knee-slap at the 2:57 mark.

Look at his face and body language in the beginning – ZERO energy. Compare that to the 3 minute mark. We did for Drew what he did for the careers of Devery HendersonRobert Meachem, Terrance Copper, and Marques Colston.

Are you just all interviewed out this morning Drew? Are you just tired of it all at this point?

You guys are interview number 21. But, I’m all good.

That’s it? I thought you were serious about this thing, Drew.

That’s it!

How many yards can you throw a ball left-handed?

Oh, that’s a good one. I don’t think I’ve ever actually attempted to measure that. But if I were to guess off the top of my head, I’m thinking I could go about 30…30 yards. Maybe gauge half of what I can do with my right, I could do with my left.

And that’s a DART, right Drew?

Wellll….I wouldn’t call it a dart.

What was it like to stab that crocodile with Bear Grylls and feel the life leave its body?

I wouldn’t necessarily describe it like that. But, that was intense now. You talk about your heart thumping a little bit. Here I am, waking through the jungle in Panama. ANd we’re walking through this dry creek bed and we see this f-foot gator. And Bear was like, “That’s our dinner.” And I’m like, “Well how are we gonna kill this thing?” “I’m gonna distract it, and you’re gonna jump on its back and stab it to death.”

And I was like – wait a minute. Can we flip those roles?? I’m thinking about throwing a ball with this right hand. And raising my kids. Now I’m using that same hand to stab this crocodile in the back of the neck so that we can eat dinner that night. It was crazy.

How did this interview compare to the Dan Patrick Show interview you did earlier?

Were you guys listening to that?

Oh yeah.

Do you think Dan Patrick is listening to yours?

Nope. No way.

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I’ve been a freelance journalist since 2000 and have had my work published via AskMen, Sports Illustrated, Bleacher Report, Busted Coverage, and Autotrader. I’ve done stand-up comedy. I'm a dad, youth soccer coach, and team statistician for the oldest indoor football team in the world, the Omaha Beef. I own a design agency in Omaha, NE called little guy design. I’ve married six couples in 10 years and my Marriage to Still Married ratio is 6:6. I always say, it isn’t so much about the “love,” as it is the tasteless jokes that became vows. I started the I-80 Sports Blog to have all the work I've published located in one place and to write about things I want to write about. I don't take anything too seriously and it is a real time saver.