10 Things Strippers Hate

I talked to the ladies of Show Palace, the Queens-based all-nude strip club that admits 18- to 21-year-old customers, and hires under-21 dancers, and asked them what their biggest pet peeves were. Below, find their responses in no particular order.

1) Singles (aka cheap men). Don’t come to the club with $5 in singles and stay all night

2) Smacking. Hands off the asses.

3) Wedding rings. Not only does that mean the guy is taken, but it goes back to the smacking. Ouch!

4) Smelly breath. BRUSH MEN, BRUSH. No one wants to be grinding on anything that smells like it’s dead.

5) Ballers on a budget. Don’t show up with a pack of guys with hopes to pass one girl around all night!

6) Chatty Cathy’s. If you want to talk, call your mom!

7) Cell phones. PERIOD. We like our privacy too.

8) Other women. At least not the lame ones who are there to monitor and not enjoy. Fun women welcome!

9) Bill Placement. Don’t try to put bills in our mouths or other areas…especially when they come from your sweaty hands!  Keep it to the g strings and other straps, men!

10)   Kissers. DON’T TRY IT. THE END.

If you’re in Queens, New York, hit up the Show Palace. Recent performers have included fresh-faced adult star Belle Knox and the incomparable Bonnie Rotten.

Tell the Show Palace your own stripper tales of woe via their Facebook page or Twitter account.

I’ve been a freelance journalist since 2000 and have had my work published via AskMen, Sports Illustrated, Bleacher Report, Busted Coverage, and Autotrader. I’ve done stand-up comedy. I'm a dad, youth soccer coach, and team statistician for the oldest indoor football team in the world, the Omaha Beef. I own a design agency in Omaha, NE called little guy design. I’ve married six couples in 10 years and my Marriage to Still Married ratio is 6:6. I always say, it isn’t so much about the “love,” as it is the tasteless jokes that became vows. I started the I-80 Sports Blog to have all the work I've published located in one place and to write about things I want to write about. I don't take anything too seriously and it is a real time saver.